The Guilt

The silence and lull after a festival pierces me too deep..The quietness is so intense you could cut through it by a knife..This quietness has increased manifolds since my daughters have left home.Every year after the kids go I go into a retrospection..was i a good mom...were they happy spending time at home..repent on how many dishes which i had planned were left unmade..I think this is a trap into which each mother falls unknowingly..My daughters keep on telling "mumma chill..we will come again..we had a great time",but how can mumma chill😀.We Indian moms take too much of responsbilities,go overboard to keep everyone happy.We feel responsible towards our kids and family to an extent that even a flickering thought of doing something just for ourselves brings in a guilt.Leaving a baby at home and going out brings a guilt to the mom and we women are responsible for it because since generations it has been laid down that kids are a woman's responsibilty.So deep rooted is this thought that its very difficult to pick up an axe and make the first hit at it.Ever since my daughters have moved on i have been planning and telling everyone who is ready to hear that i have a bucket list ready and am raring to go but when i myself do not know. LOLZ. No one is holding me but me.How will hubby dear manage me without me,but isn't it my fault that he is so dependent on me???
He never demanded me to be a perfect 10/10 wife,it was my choice cause i had seen my mother doing the same,my daughters keep coaxing me to go on a holiday but i keep postponing it cause somewhere deep i am scared to go out alone because i do not want to get out of the comfort zone of having my family around all the time.We women of today are so much more lucky than our previous generations,we have more supportive and generous life partners and children who want us to make our own lives,who want to give us back the years we have given them then whats holding us back.Its Me which is holding Me...time to get rid of this Me factor and start Me time.I know its going to be a long journey to learn how to enjoy and do things just with me and for me but the first step has to be taken and am happy that i have started towards it..these few moments which i spend here are totally mine.They will lead me to many more seconds which will be totally mine and my heart joyous and happy not guilty..Hope all moms have such hearts💓

Comments

  1. TaruMarch 20, 2017 at 1:02 AM

    So true :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. InduMarch 20, 2017 at 4:32 AM

    Enjoy with the lovely company of Ur gud frnds n husband..

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 20, 2017 at 5:00 AM

    Life is too short to think too much...
    Just do the right thing and be with the right people who make you happy ...

    Cheers ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownMarch 20, 2017 at 7:14 AM

    Thoughts bfully penned... chill out n B yourself.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownMarch 20, 2017 at 10:37 AM

    Awsum beautiful l guess we all relate to this keep writing we r enjoying

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownMarch 20, 2017 at 10:45 AM

    Lovely writing simple language we all can relate to it

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sandeep PrakashMarch 20, 2017 at 11:51 AM

    It's our fear which we need to break free of...a beautiful read

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. smritiMarch 21, 2017 at 4:56 AM

      thnx..ur approval and appreciation is valuable

      Delete
  8. Anubhuti RaiMarch 21, 2017 at 4:49 PM

    So true di... every mom can relate to this.. You have Expressed it beautifully..

    ReplyDelete
  9. J SinghMarch 23, 2017 at 9:30 AM

    When our kids grow up and fly away; In a Mom's mind they cease to age. Nicely written Smrti! Good luck with your future writings!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sanjay SrivastavaMarch 26, 2017 at 11:57 PM

    Too much love..Too much responsibilities..Too much caring..This too much starts killing you when u realise u lost too much time for others

    ReplyDelete
  11. My life, my dreamsMarch 27, 2017 at 9:24 AM

    Parents are the most dependable and selfless givers in the world

    ReplyDelete

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